Where is the hickey?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
