He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
