I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
