there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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