The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Did I show you my penis last night?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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