Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
