Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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