I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
