oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
