You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
