I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
