At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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