I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
