so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
MIDGETS
????
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
