I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
