I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
