I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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