Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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