I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?