so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
