Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
