What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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