Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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