I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
