Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
