I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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