"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
