Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
