you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
