Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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