My cat gives me a boner
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
