i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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