I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
