Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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