She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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