Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
