fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
