I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm always down for nudity.
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