i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
