If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Are we in a gay sports bar?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
