I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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