I want to make a zoo with you.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
