I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
