Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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