yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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