Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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