He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
