I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
