We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
