margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
