I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
