no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
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We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
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My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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