just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
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I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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