Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
