What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize