Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
