I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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