I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
