found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize