I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
