im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
