i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
