i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
