You're completely useless in the revolution.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
