why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
